On memory (and forgetting)

After a few years of not being able to focus on reading books, I seem to have gotten my groove back a little and to my delight, I was rewarded with two excellent books in a row: Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory by Sarah Polley and Thistlefoot: A Novel by GennaRose Nethercott. Polley’s book has raw and beautiful essays about her tumultuous child, teen and 20something years and I’m so thankful that she lived to tell these tales and become a writer and director. While recounting some of the most challenging times from her past she recognizes the fallibility of memory, how a reality can change based on the person and all the resulting complexities. In a couple of the essays, she is able to re-experience two (absolutely terrible) child acting roles in a different light as seen through the eyes of her own children, which doesn’t erase those terrible times but does give her a much needed shift of perspective.

Nethercott’s novel is a retelling of the always fascinating Baba Yaga story, a Slavic folktale about a supernatural woman who lives in a house with chicken legs. In her story, Baba Yaga is a Jewish woman living in a shtetl in 1919 Russia during a time of civil war and pogroms, while also telling the present-day story of American siblings Isaac and Bellatine Yaga, who have inherited the Yaga house and are being followed by the Longshadow Man, a nightmare creature representing death and destruction. It’s a beautifully written and phantasmagorical story that explores folktale and memory and ends powerfully - spoilers here if you plan to read it - with Isaac Yaga defeating the Longshadow Man by telling the story of the 1919 pogrom, embodying those who were killed and saying their names aloud. This is not a new idea - that people, a culture, history in general - live on through those who tell those stories so they’re not forgotten - but it’s also one so powerfully relevant in 2023, even in just the last 10 days. Many lives (111 so far, with 1000+ people still missing), houses and cultural landmarks were lost in the devastating August 8 Lahaina fire on Maui, houses and other structures including a Dene art gallery were lost when a fire destroyed Enterprise, Northwest Territories on August 15. We must not forget the terrible effects of the climate crisis, the lives and culture lost during these disasters.

While reading both of these books I reflected on my own fallible memory and telling my family stories, especially as it related to my mom who died in 1996, when I was 17. My memories of those 17 years with her and our family adventures are strongly tied to photographs, as I’ve never had the same amazing memory of my brother. But I think about how my stories of her - and those told by others - have changed over time, and also of a time 8ish years ago when an aunt told me I had my mom’s smile, laugh and storytelling manner. That was perhaps the best compliment I could receive, as I remember my mom as woman who filled the room with equal parts joy and snark.

But I’ve also been thinking more generally about the world and how it relates to memory and story. How the far right wants to ban books that contain so many important historical lessons (especially racism) and the diverse experiences of kids and teens. How those same groups want to cancel sex ed entirely because god forbid their kids and teens should learn about consent, sex and gender, pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted infections, as they are almost certainly exploring these topics whether parents and teachers encourage it or not, provide safe spaces to discuss, reliable information to understand, etc. This regression will ultimately impact everyone in society, lead to bullying, sexual violence, suicide, unsafe abortions and all sorts of other bad shit. I’m not a parent but as an Auntie of the internet, I want kids and teens to be able to grow and learn, feel supported by adults, have safe people and factual information to access.

The last 3 years of the pandemic have also been an eye opening realization as to how memory works on a large scale level. While public health and governments can certainly be blamed for the lack of reliable information and a variety of factors bred the shameful anti vaxxer and FREEDOM movements that display a complete lack of empathy, the collective forgetting of people also plays a large role in the continued pandemic. This could be partly tied to the solipsistic world of many humans and not wanting to be inconvenienced by masks and the knowledge that repeated infections can lead to severe illness and disability or to the actual damage covid can cause to the brain, creating a fog, confusion, forgetfulness, mental fatigue (in addition to crushing headaches) and other long term effects. It’s not a leap to see the connection between those symptoms and forgetting about the severity of covid.

I’m not a wizard so I don’t have definitive solutions for any of these challenges, but I am a librarian and can stress the importance of reading history, non fiction and fiction - in whatever format works best for you - as well as using tools like databases, community experts, or other factual/science based materials and resources where you’ll find reliable information on health or other topics you may have questions about. Your local library staff can help steer you in the right direction, if you need help. That won’t save the world, but it would be a good start.